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What Is Shiva? A Complete Guide

Shiva is the seven-day Jewish mourning period observed after the loss of an immediate family member. Learn what it means and how to participate.

What Is Shiva?

Shiva (שִׁבְעָה), meaning "seven" in Hebrew, is the seven-day Jewish mourning period observed following the death and burial of an immediate family member. It is one of Judaism's most important rituals of mourning and community support.

During shiva, mourners — typically a spouse, child, sibling, or parent of the deceased — remain at home and receive visitors who come to offer comfort and condolences.

Who Observes Shiva?

According to Jewish law (halacha), shiva is observed by immediate family members:

  • Spouse
  • Child (son or daughter)
  • Parent
  • Sibling (brother or sister)
  • Other relatives may attend and support, but are not halachically required to observe the full seven days.

    When Does Shiva Begin?

    Shiva begins immediately after the burial (kevurah). The day of burial counts as the first day of shiva, even if the burial takes place late in the afternoon. In many communities, shiva is ended on the morning of the seventh day rather than waiting for the full day to complete.

    Shabbat and Holidays

    Shabbat counts toward the seven days of shiva but mourning practices are suspended for its duration — no one sits shiva publicly on Shabbat. Similarly, certain Jewish holidays (Yom Tov) interrupt or completely cancel shiva depending on when they fall.

    What Mourners Do During Shiva

    During shiva, mourners observe several practices:

  • Staying home: Mourners do not leave their house except in certain permitted circumstances
  • Sitting low: Traditionally, mourners sit on low chairs or cushions as a sign of grief
  • Not wearing leather shoes: A sign of mourning
  • Not bathing for pleasure: Simple hygiene is permitted
  • Not working: Mourners refrain from their regular occupation
  • Covering mirrors: A common Ashkenazic custom
  • Not shaving or cutting hair: During the full mourning period (shloshim)
  • What Visitors Do

    Visitors to a shiva house play a crucial role in comforting the mourners (nichum aveilim). When you visit:

  • Wait to be acknowledged — don't speak first; let the mourner initiate conversation
  • Offer condolences with the traditional phrase: *"HaMakom yenachem etchem b'toch she'ar aveilei Tzion v'Yerushalayim"* — "May God comfort you among all the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem"
  • Listen more than you speak — your presence is more important than your words
  • Bring food — it is traditional to bring food so the family doesn't have to cook
  • Pray together — if a minyan is present, prayers are recited at the house
  • How to Support a Shiva Family

    Beyond visiting in person, modern platforms like TheShivaPage allow the entire community to coordinate:

  • Mishnayos learning: Claim specific chapters of Mishna to learn in the deceased's merit
  • Meal train: Sign up to bring meals on specific days
  • Minyan coordination: Post and view davening times at the shiva house
  • Gift sending: Send a symbolic tree, flowers, or a gift basket
  • The Meaning Behind Shiva

    Shiva is not simply a mourning ritual — it is a profound expression of Jewish community. The word "community" in Hebrew, *kehilla*, shares a root with *kol*, meaning "everything." When someone loses a loved one, the community shows up to carry them through their darkest moment.

    The goal of sitting shiva is not only to honor the deceased but to ensure that the living are never alone in their grief.


    Using TheShivaPage to coordinate shiva support? [Create a free shiva page](/create) in minutes.

    Frequently Asked Questions

    How long is shiva?

    Shiva lasts seven days, beginning immediately after burial. The day of burial counts as day one, and many communities end shiva on the morning of the seventh day.

    What do you say at a shiva?

    The traditional Hebrew phrase is "HaMakom yenachem etchem b'toch she'ar aveilei Tzion v'Yerushalayim." In English: "May God comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem."

    Can you eat at a shiva?

    Yes. It is actually a mitzvah (religious obligation) to bring food to a shiva house. The mourners should not have to worry about cooking during this period.

    Do you bring food to shiva?

    Yes, bringing food is one of the most meaningful ways to support a mourning family. The first meal after burial (seudat havra'ah) is traditionally provided entirely by friends and neighbors.

    Can you leave a shiva house?

    Mourners traditionally stay home during shiva. Visitors, however, come and go freely throughout the day and evening.

    Coordinating a Shiva?

    TheShivaPage helps families and communities coordinate everything in one place — for free.

    Create a Shiva Page →

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