A complete checklist for organizing a shiva house: what to prepare, how to arrange the space, and how to coordinate the community for meals, minyanim, and more.
Before the Family Returns from the Cemetery
The mourners should arrive home from the burial to find everything ready. If you are helping set up, here is what to prepare:
The First Meal (Seudat Havra'ah)
Jewish law requires that the first meal after burial — the *seudat havra'ah* (meal of condolence) — be provided entirely by friends and neighbors, not prepared by the mourners themselves. Traditional foods for this meal include:
Round foods (eggs, lentils, round rolls) — symbolizing the cycle of lifeHard-boiled eggsBreadThe Physical Space
Move or cover mirrors — a common Ashkenazic practice during shivaSet up low chairs or cushions for the mourners to sit onCreate a clear path for visitors to enter and circulateSet up a food station with plates, napkins, and utensilsDisplay a photo of the deceased, if the family wishesA TheShivaPage Page
Creating a TheShivaPage page before visitors start arriving is one of the most practical things you can do. It lets you:
Share the address, visiting hours, and minyan timesCoordinate Mishnayos learningOrganize a meal train so families receive meals throughout the weekCollect condolence messages in one placeCreate a free TheShivaPage page →
Prayer (Minyan) Logistics
If there will be davening at the house, arrange for:
A Torah scroll if possible, or confirm one is not neededA designated leader for each tefillahA Kaddish scheduleClear communication of minyan times on the TheShivaPage pageFood and Meal Coordination
Seven days of meals for a large family adds up quickly. A meal train — where community members sign up to bring specific meals on specific days — is enormously helpful.
*Tips for coordination:*
Use the TheShivaPage meal train to prevent duplicates and gapsCommunicate dietary restrictions (kosher, allergies, number of people)Include drop-off instructions and preferred timesWhat Mourners Need Day to Day
Beyond food and prayer, mourners often need:
Paper goods (plates, cups, napkins)Disposable containers for leftoversToilet paper and basic household suppliesHelp receiving and organizing food donationsAssistance with children or petsSomeone to answer the door and greet visitorsA Note on Simplicity
Shiva should be a time for the family to mourn and receive comfort — not to entertain. Resist the urge to over-decorate or make the house feel like an event. The goal is quiet, warm, unobtrusive support.
Coordinating a Shiva?
TheShivaPage helps families and communities coordinate everything in one place — for free.
Create a Shiva Page →